Yes, my eight year old has an iPhone... but why doesn't yours?

This Christmas we gave our son an iPhone. He is 8 and won't be nine for six more months. Shocking? Maybe to some. In the time since Christmas, I have been tasked with answering the question "Why would you get your eight year old an iPhone?" more than once.

Last Christmas, we bought him an iPad and strangely enough, no one ever asked why. So what is it about the iPhone that makes people question our parenting decisions?

Without reverting to my initial response, (why does it matter to you?), I can answer this question with confidence. And you might even realize that your child needs one too.

The use of technology in our society is not optional at this point.

There is hardly a business left that doesn't rely on technology for standard operations. Schools use computers, iPods and tablets in their curriculum and in most classrooms. Children are assigned school owned devices in many districts. College enrollment and applications are submitted online. Almost all employers use electronic application systems. Shielding him from technology would be a terrible disadvantage. Allowing his mind to continue to grow with the advances in technology will be an advantage.

There's an app for everything.... including third grade.

Of course our son has downloaded all of his favorite games and music apps. He spends quite a bit of time using music apps to make different beats or songs. We encourage this behavior. He also downloaded minecraft, angry birds, temple run and other time killing games. If you look closely you will also see he bought a book and has two math apps to help him with division and multiplication. I didn't make him download these, he chose to do it. His school uses two websites that have an app or hot link respectively stored on his phone. Yes, he can do extra school work on his phone.

I can allow my son to be a child and never lose contact with him.

My nephew lives three blocks away. To get from our house to his, my son has to ride his bike down a busy side street. Not a main street, but a side street that is quite busy from time to time. Now, when he asks to ride his bike to his cousin's house, I will worry less about the trip. I know he needs the freedom to be able to make this short trip on his own. The phone will give ME comfort during these times. He can text me when he arrives and I can reach him if it takes longer than I expect. If I get really nervous, I can track his phone to see where he is. I know that he is able to reach me if there is trouble and that alone gives me comfort. He got a new bike for Christmas too, can't wait to let him go exploring when it's warmer.

He is able to keep in contact with and develop stronger bonds with his friends and family.

Our family is closer than some, it's a blessing that I never take for granted. I was raised so closely with my cousins most people know them as my sisters. That's who they are to me. We are raising our children the same way. They are best friends and they love to Facetime and text each other all day everyday. We also have family members in other areas of our state and other states that he can keep in contact with. He can reach out to people on his own and it has begun making each of these relationships stronger. I can (and did) also set up restrictions limiting access to calling numbers that aren't saved and making it so he can not change his contacts on his own. If I don't add you, he can't call or text you. Period. I am in control, not him or the phone.

It keeps him out of my business.

Like most parents, if we are out and about, in the car or otherwise located where my child will be bored, he will ask for my phone. As parents, most of us have already downloaded a favorite game, movie or other child pleasing app on our phones. And most of us don't think twice about letting our children play with our phone for whatever reason. Think twice. And then think about it again. I don't want my child going through certain parts of my phone. My pictures, my emails, my text messages and my social networking pages to be specific. I can (and did) put restrictions on his webpages, youtube access and app downloading ability. My phone has no restrictions. I don't have any x-rated or inappropriate pictures in my phone, but he may come across a funny picture or meme that he doesn't need to see. If he browses my email he could come across a shipping receipt for a special gift or accidentally delete a document that I need. And I'll be honest, there is nothing in my text message threads that my son needs to see. I am a texter, a term we have all coined for the people that prefer texting over calling. That's me. There's way too much information in my text messages for my kid to have access to. The same goes for my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. Having his own phone keeps him all the way out of mine.

It's a great tool for us to use to help us in teaching life's core lessons.

Our child is already responsible and well behaved. But the phone is helping us continue these lessons. If he breaks it, the insurance deductible is coming straight out of that little piggy that we fill up each week after chores are complete. His grades are really good. Honestly, he gets consistently good grades. He understands that the phone is a reward for keeping up with his chores, getting good grades and otherwise acting like the child we are proud to be raising. He also knows that the phone should never be used in a hurtful way towards anybody. He knows that if he is sharing, posting, adding friends or otherwise socializing with the phone we have to approve of the person first. Strangers are never an option. Even strangers his own age. And he knows the consequences of breaking these rules will be tough. He is learning to take care of something that is important to him. And he uses it to learn things on his own. There's a difference between learning on your own and learning through teaching, and we want him to experience both.

So yes, we bought our son an iPhone, and no he doesn't have a job.

Here's my question.... why doesn't your child have one too? Let me be clear... I do not think that all children need iPhones and I am not partial to a specific device. There are countless options that will give your children a similar experience as my son has with his iPhone. I do think that all children need some way to connect with our fast-paced, technology based world. And I think that most parents need to keep their phones away from their children.



We let him play video games too btw.... but that's a whole different blog.

Cheers!
KC

Veteran's Day

Today started like any other work day.... early. It's 6am, and I dont feel like getting up. Gotta hurry though, it's going to be a busy day. It's Veteran's Day, and Chili's has been promoting our special offer of giving a free entree to all veterans and active military all day. I arrive late anyway, which furthers my irritation, I hate being late, even if it is only 7 minutes. Sigh... get the day started. My mind us busy... prep extra, finush this, don't forget that. The phone won't stop ringing, yes we are giving away food today, ugh stop calling. My irritation grows and then one of my cooks decides today is the day he will quit. Really?? This is the last thing I need! I find myself prepping and doing much more hands on work than I'm used to. Irritation growing, mind running in circles. Finally, I finish up the missing cooks work and get into the shift. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Veterans, at least I thought I did, but right now, I am focused on my business. It's 11:30, and we are FULL, and on a wait! It's Thursday lunch, this is unheard of. I am running around doing everything. Running food, cleaning tables, adjusting checks etc. You name it, I was doing it. Me and my team are getting our butts kicked! But I am focused. On execution. Hot food, great service, clean dining room, happy team members. Stay calm, stay positive I keep telling myself. But we just keep getting busier and busier and there is SO much to do! I come in the kitchen as I hear my expo calling for a food runner."Runner please, table 25" she shouts.... I am the only person that hears her. I walk over, grab the cheeseburger she is holding, and I'm off to table 25. As I approach I see an elderly gentleman waiting patiently with his hands folded on the table. "I have your cheeseburger sir, no mustard right?" I say with every intention of dropping it off and hustling back to the kitchen. "I just want you to know that in the 65 years I have been out of the armyx this is only the third time I have reeived something on Veteran's day as a thank-you." Pause. Wait. Did he just say 65 years?!? Now, he has my attention. Within 60 seconds, I'm sitting at table 25, listening. I asked why he doesn't visit us more often and his response was "I don't like to eat alone." I am not generally an emotional person, but I felt the tears wellingvup in my eyes. Now, we are busy, and my team 'needs' me, but there is no way I'm getting up now. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to stay, but a fire in the kitchen would not have made me leave this man before his burger was gone. So, I stayed, for 45 minutes. And I enjoyed every second. His name is Frank, and he was in the Army. He served in World War II and was honorably discharged in 1945. I could tell you his life story, and he could tell you mine, but I'll keep that to myself. What I will tell you is Frank is hands down the most interesting and amazing person I have ever met in my life. He has lived through every era and has a story to share from each one. We found a mutual love for motown music and in particular, The Temptations. Frank told me stories about the city of Detroit that he knew growing up and we shared our hopes for its revival. I learned many lessons in 45 minutes from Frank. Number one being that it's the little things in life that make it worth living. And that people are God's greatest gift. I will forever hold Frank in my memory and heart. I hope that he will come visit me again (he promises he will) but the reality that my new friend is 87 years old is tough. I know in my heart our friendship can't last forever, I just hope it doesn't end today.